How to transform dog/horse pron/hump lovers into art patrons

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Being hacked by pooch humpers and loving it.

As an artist I’ve made a breakthrough, of sorts. After having one of my little used art sites hacked then littered with strange codes, my subsequent clumsy “investigation” uncovered my rarely updated domain was listed as one of the top sites for such glorious search strings as Horse Pron, Bestiality, Dog Sex (and other fun hobbies). While I initially felt violated and angry, I decided to use their code and google work against them, and I could just taste (maybe not taste) a new sticky fingered and dog smelling audience slobberingly waiting to experience my artwork. All 50,000 of the piggy boinkers.

Who the heck would even bother?

Me and I am a net artist, creating interactive artworks using a variety of net technologies. Being a net artist is both a terrible laser eyed hydra and an incredibly powerful and addictive hammer. I say hydra, not only because as a child I was scared of hydras reaching down, heads slipping through the AC vents, but also because net artists are the abused step-children of the art world (whimper). You see it’s difficult to sell files to collectors. So then, you ask with a frothing mouth and dirty nails awavin’, why be a net artist? Simply put: you are your own gallery and your audience isn’t just those who wander into large buildings or those with too much money, it is potentially every/anyone with access to the internet. Including in this case: those who love to bugger dogs and/or romantically stroke horses.

Immediately after being hijacked by donkey doinkers.

Of course my first reaction to being attacked by beast loving hackers was very similar to being chased as a HS freshman by a gang of drunk construction workers whose fists were primed to protest my t-shirt’s stance on the generic concept of war. I felt heavily beaten, violated, oh so slightly aroused, and more than I can relay through words angry. It appears what happened is my hosting provider left the front door open, and I do live in a neighbourhood with lots of pets. After transferring my domain name and files, the ftp access was left open to all. Evidently someone thought an artist is not the kind of person to obsessively check their server stats. Well….um…..I am. And with a domain name like heliozoa.com, surely they could hide greasy zoo love links within its folders. Well….um…they can’t. .....................................................continue to next section

The links....with my new pooch pron redirects:

http://www.heliozoa.com/horse/an.html

http://www.heliozoa.com/horse/bt.html

http://www.heliozoa.com/horse/dg.html

http://www.heliozoa.com/horse/zo.html

http://www.heliozoa.com/horse/hr.html

recent search terms from my site's server statistics